Stupid Feet

Today, doing very short sprints in Crossfit, I fell.  I don’t know exactly what happened – I have stupid feet.  I don’t know if my foot landed wrong, or if it twisted or skidded, but something happened that pitched me forward.  I tried to just run faster – I figured if I could just get my feet out in front of me faster than I was falling that maybe balance would return.  Alas, it was not to be.  I fell forward, somehow turned it into a roll and got up and limped the rest of the way back.

Since the workouts are timed, I was pretty happy that the roll was more or less forward moving.

Of course both our trainer, Scott, and Will were facing me during this time so they got to watch me fall.  Good times.  I don’t know how Will manages to be looking right at me every time I do something stupid or self injurious at Crossfit, but God love him, he does.  Scott asked if I was ok and I was mainly embarrassed – who trips over AIR for God’s sake?  I did assure Scott that I was ok.  Nothing sprained or broken or twisted.  He asked what happened, and I think my right foot landed wrong – like all of the weight on the outside rim of the foot which caused the ankle to buckle and topple me forward.  However, this is just a guess based on what was hurting immediately after the event, because what I was mostly aware of was “Oh, crap, I am going to fall on my face!” Which is not really helpful to analyzing what went wrong in the first place.

Currently, the top of my right foot hurts, which makes no sense to me, but whatever.  Stupid feet.

One of the things I plan on doing when I get some extra money is buy some different shoes.  I think I want to transition to the types of shoes that are more like having bare feet, as everything I’ve read says that this is beneficial and helpful.  Scott recommended this to Will because of Will’s back issues and said you can basically just get a pair of converse or “skate shoes” as most of the brand name shoes are super expensive.  A lot of people like vibrams, but I hate having anything in between my toes so that rules them out.  I don’t know if different shoes will prevent me from tripping over my own feet in the future – I kind of doubt that it will help in that regard, but they should be helpful in other areas.

In good news, I am getting better at double unders.  Today our warmup consisted of 30 double unders, or double under attempts.  Scott has me doing single, single, double under as this seems to help me get into the rhythm of the thing.  This morning the first set I did without stopping.  I also think I did more than 30, because I was so amazed that I was doing it without tripping on the rope that I lost count again and had to start the count over after several had gone by.

Will, who is not as good at jumping rope as I am, was less pleased for me as I finished while he was still working on his third or fourth one.

“Meanwhile, this is going to take me forever, so are you going to just stand there and talk to me and distract me from getting this done?” he said.

“Yes, that is exactly what I am going to do and you’ll never finish the warm up, bwahahaha.”

Luckily, he has a good sense of humor.  I really think that one of the things that is most beneficial in a spouse is someone who can laugh when tense or irritated instead of just getting more irritated or tense.

Once we were done with the workout, he blamed the stupid feet/falling incident on a lack of sleep the night before.  I went to bed on time, but I slept very poorly for no real reason that I can see.  Maybe he is right.

Other than that, nothing earth shattering to report.  Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!

When Hold ‘Em, When to Fold ‘Em

Tomorrow I am not going to do my normal workout at Crossfit as I need to rest.  I suck at knowing when I need to rest and when I do not.  While I have been working out now, regularly for over a year, I still have a decade and a half of not doing anything much.  One year does not wipe out the history of 15(ish) years.  I no longer make excuses to get out of going to Crossfit or working out, but I have almost a lifetime of those excuses being made by me, me believing them, and more couch sitting occurring.  Therefore, rest days make me twitchy.

I really do not know when I should rest, because I have this fear that I am just making an excuse so I don’t have to sweat.

Prior to yesterday’s workout, I did deadlifts.  Prior to deadlifts, I did a warm up consisting of 2 rounds of 15 thrusters, 15 sit-ups, 15 lunges with weights, and 15 deadlifts.   Today and yesterday, I have been sore.  And not the normal Crossfit sore where my body is sore but I still move ok, but the kind of sore where I am not moving around with ease because it hurts a lot – I even skipped yoga this morning because I figured it would hurt to move, which sucked as my schedule has been messed up and I have missed my last 3 yoga sessions due to other work.  Normally, I am pretty confident that yoga will solve most of my aches and pains, but this morning the aches and pains won out as simply getting out of bed was a painful process.  There is no pain quite like back pain.  I made sure to move around doing regular daily activities, housework, and other things, because sometimes just sitting makes everything worse.  This did help loosen things up a bit but I am still extremely sore.

I figured I would give our trainer a heads up that I would not really be up to par tomorrow (he stresses that I am supposed to tell him when I am injured or in pain) and he suggested that if I am that sore maybe we should skip and make it a rest day.  The suggestion made sense – I was worried about showing up and not being able to do much – but I didn’t like it.  I replied that I was a pretty shitty judge of when to rest and when to push through things, but mentioned that I can not currently do regular, everyday things with ease.  He said rest.

One of the nice things about being married – to someone who knows you and understands you – is that I often do not have to finish sentences.  I didn’t even have to explain to Will my discomfort at needing to rest.  He said that one of the challenges he has faced with life amounts to the same thing.

“I am not good at knowing when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em,” he said.  Ah, Kenny Rogers, The Gambler really can be applied to many aspects of life.

“If someone punches you in the nose and you curl into a little ball and cry and don’t get up – you are wuss.  If you THINK someone might punch in you in the nose so you curl into a little ball and cry – you are absolutely a wuss.  But if you think someone is going to permanently and irrevocably damage you in some way?  Then it is best to walk away and you are not a wuss.  If it were merely a matter of you working out and you’d be in pain – you and I would both do it.  Crossfit leaves us sore a lot, so pain is not that big of a deal.  But when does it become a matter of causing actual injury?  Actual injury should be avoided,” he said.

Part of this whole Crossfit journey has been trying to find out my limitations, push past them, find new limitations to push past.  I also want this to be something I do for life.  I would love to be athletic in nature, and through Crossfit and yoga, I really feel like I am getting there.  I often wonder if people who have been athletic their whole lives just know when to push through and when to rest.  Does everyone worry about it or is that just a special neurosis I have due to being extremely out of shape for many, many years?  Luckily, we have an awesome trainer who doesn’t mind texts to answer these questions – and I do ask him a ton of questions.

Depending on how I feel tomorrow I will probably do some running.  On Saturday I have some friends coming in to visit and we are going to do some hiking.  Will has promised to take me out on a fairly lengthy hike on Sunday, so with these plans in place, I feel like taking tomorrow to rest and let my body recover a bit isn’t the worst thing in the world.  But I think it is going to be a while before I get the hang of when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em when it comes to working out.  I spent too many years making excuses not to work out and the pendulum has moved too far to the other side of things.  I figure eventually it will even out and I will know what the hell I am doing.

In the meantime, success news!  I can now fit into the jeans that I bought a few months ago that wouldn’t even button.  Not just fit, but with extra room – they are a bit too big for me.  Huzzah!  I am now at 188 pounds and when I started all of this I was at 246 pounds, so I’ve lost 58 pounds.  With the new primal diet (which is like paleo only I drink milk) I am averaging about a pound a week in weight loss, although on occasion it is about a half pound a week.  However, the loss is steady loss.  I am pretty pleased with the slow and steady progress here – I would rather have slow, steady, and permanent, than fast, dramatic, and impermanent.  Therefore, I am pretty happy overall and I just cannot say enough good things about Crossfit, my trainer, yoga, and Crossfit Simple as a whole.  They rock and they have helped me rock.  Happy, happy, happy.



Graying Out and Crossfit

I found out a while back that Will has never passed out.  I have a couple of times.  The first time was when I gave blood in high school.  It was the second or third time I had given blood, but for some reason that one had me out cold.  As an aside, I hate smelling salts or whatever the modern equivalent is.  Nasty, evil stuff.

From there, I have passed out a couple more times, usually when someone is trying to extract my blood with a needle.  I don’t have a fear of needles really, I just seem to pass out a lot when needles try to steal my blood.

I was telling Will several months ago that I had had difficulty with a WoD and that I kept trying to gray out. 

“You know how everything kind of starts going gray around the edges and gradually everything goes gray right before you pass out?”  I said.

“No,” he said.

It was a short conversation.

Anyway, there are some workouts where this kind of thing happens to me.  The first step is dizziness, then the dizziness is followed by the graying and I usually have to stop whatever it is I am doing and get my head to my knees or lower.  It always pisses me off, too.  I mean, nothing wrecks getting a good time like STOPPING ENTIRELY.

Today’s workout, on the surface, didn’t look too bad.  I forget that my trainer is a tricky, tricky man and no WoD’s are easy.  It was 50/35/20 reps of Push Press, Ring Rows, and Double Unders.  I didn’t like going back to ring rows after doing rubber band pull-ups, but figured that it would be a change of pace and relatively easy.


The ring rows, of all things, kicked my ass.  Which really makes little sense to me.  I spent the majority of my time in Crossfit doing ring rows.  They aren’t easy, but they should not be the kind of thing that causes the dizziness and graying outness.  I actually had to stop at one point and kneel down and just focus on breathing so that the graying receded from my vision.  It was either that or pass out entirely, which I hear is even worse for your time.  Seriously annoying.

The first round of 50 sucked and I really wanted to quit and just go home.  However, when the next two rounds have lower numbers it is difficult for me to convince myself that this is in any way a good plan.  I mean, 50 was the hard round, everything else should be easy.  During the round of 50 I felt sick to my stomach.  During the round of 35 I felt like I was going to gray out.  The round of 20 went pretty smoothly, though.

I always consider it a win when I feel intensely like going home and I push through anyway.  The joy I get from finishing a WoD on the days when I do not want to do it is pretty intense.  I was happy for hours after and while a lot of that may be endorphins or whatever other happy chemicals are released through exercise quite of bit of it is knowing that I did it anyway.  That I pushed through something I didn’t think I could do.  I will think that I cannot do something and then I do it anyway.  Always a win to have that happen.  I like knowing that I am capable of doing so much more than I think.

In good news, I think that I am getting better at doing double-unders.  I had a run of like 3 or 4 successful attempts in a row.  I was so excited about it that I totally last track of what number I was on and therefore went back to the last number I could remember doing, but it was still a pretty fun run of double-unders.  However, immediately following that run of success my feet forgot how to jump and I had trouble just getting a single-under accomplished.  It was kind of like I’d spent all of my skill in those few successes and everything after that was a bit awful.  However, the success part means that I am going to be able to get this whole double-under thing down soon and that is what I am going to hang onto.

So, while not my best day it wasn’t my worst day either.  I finished without losing my lunch or passing out and even got a “Good job” from my trainer.  Therefore, I consider it a win.