Overreacting to Miley Cyrus

Will and I finally watched a YouTube video of the Miley Cyrus VMA performance.


Here’s the thing – other than her weird licking/tongue fetish, it was no more provocative than Britney Spears with her big snake, Madonna french kissing Britney Spears and Christina Auguilera, or about a million other overly sexualized performances by female popstars at the VMAs.  The teddy bears were weird (is this a furry thing?), her having her tongue hanging out of her mouth was weird, and who ever invented the word “twerking” needs to die a slow, horrible death, but otherwise, I couldn’t find anything to get too fired up about.  The said, don’t even get me started on rap stars and their stripper-esque dancers that populate the VMA stage without anyone making a comment.  Males surrounded by almost naked women gyrating?  Totally fine!  A girl-star being the naked gyrator?  Burn her at the stake!!

Seriously, have we nothing better to do with our time?  Aren’t there real problems?  (I know, I know, I’ve fallen into it too, I am blogging about it instead of blogging about how many children don’t have access to clean and potable water, let alone food….)

Once upon a time, Miley Cyrus was a child and now she is an adult, but since we remember that she was a child once upon a time not too long ago, there must be outrage at the way she is using sex to make herself feel like and look like an adult.

Honestly, much like with Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears, I just don’t care.  The fact that so many people are pissed off and up in arms about it mystifies me.  The number of child stars that have healthy and happy adulthoods is astonishingly low (we love you, Jodi Foster, for giving us hope) – why are we feigning surprise?  If Miley Cyrus ends up in and out of rehab, are we really going to be claim we never saw it coming?  Overexposure at an early age comes with a hefty price tag.  Nothing in life is free.

I also watched her video for the song “Wrecking Ball” and again, other than her licking things inappropriately (sorry, I am just too much of a blue collar woman to think that licking tools like a sledgehammer can possibly be sexy – I know where most sledgehammers have been, and eww, gross) I found nothing about it that was worth all of the talk and outrage.  It was actually a pretty good little pop song and I felt like she put a lot of emotion into it.

I find this faux outrage to be on a similar level to people who hate the “Twilight” series, people who hate Justin Bieber, and people who hate any other weird ass fad that young women or the general public like or relate to.  When people hate something with so much vehemence and outrage, I start to wonder what is wrong with them, not with the object of their outrage.  Take a chill pill already and pay attention to something fun.

Here is my overall point – I would never have wasted my time watching Cyrus on the VMA’s but after a while, I was curious as to what all of the fuss was about.  I never would have bothered looking up the video “Wrecking Ball” but I was told it was so scandalously horrifying that I wanted to see what the hubbub was about.

Would I have made any of the choices that Cyrus has made?  Hell if I know – I don’t have handlers, managers, choreographers, song writers, directors, publicists and who knows what else telling me what to do or how to do it.  She does.  And hey, they might be right – any press is good press.  Miley Cyrus got attention from two middle aged people this week (one of whom actually liked a song of hers) simply because we were told it was shameful and scandalous – if people hadn’t made such a huge deal, we wouldn’t have wasted time on it.  By the way, it wasn’t that shameful or scandalous to me.

I mean, please.  I was more shocked when my friend Mary told me one of her songs has lyrics in it about doing cocaine than I was with either of the above performances.

I was raised on Madonna and singing “Like a Virgin” before I was 10 years old.  Madonna was scandalous, but Madonna is/was in charge of her own scandals.  Madonna has agency.

Miley Cyrus is just a reflection of the over sexualized music industry and what it does to its female pop stars.  If you want to be outraged, be outraged at that.

This probably got lost in the shuffle, but Miley Cyrus has a pretty decent voice, too.


Dirty Girl Mud Saunter

A couple weeks ago, some friends and I did the Dirty Girl Mud Run.  We had signed up months previously with the hopes that we would be motivated to train specifically for the run and the obstacles.

This is team Sheroes prior to the race, and the mud.  Don't we look shiny and happy?
This is team Sheroes prior to the race, and the mud. Don’t we look shiny and happy?

We had great intentions, but they fell short.  We all had different reasons, but the end result was the same – we were not in shape to run the Dirty Girl Mud Run, so we agreed to make it the Dirty Girl Mud Saunter.  We had a blast.

After doing the Spartan Sprint in April, it wasn’t that I thought of Dirty Girl as easy, but it was certainly much less traumatic.  Not having to scale walls of mud and soul scarring hills made it easier, plus it was only a 5K, while the Spartan Sprint ended up being about around 5-6 miles.  The land around the obstacles was mainly flat farmland or nice shady woods, which made recovering from the obstacles all the easier.

I was a little bit dubious about our team wear of Superman t-shirts, but given the fact that about 90% of the other women were wearing pink, it did help us stand out and I was really pleased.  Although, there was a group, which I assume was a team, dressed as yellow bees, kind of like the chick from the Blind Melon video.  We thought they were cool.

We got muddy.  Seriously muddy.  We got Muddy, then Mary the Immoral* Hulked out.

Mary the Immoral after finishing the race and Hulking out of her pants.
Mary the Immoral after finishing the race and Hulking out of her pants.

She was wearing yoga pants that went down to her ankles.  One mud pit got us so muddy that my capri yoga pants were hanging down to the tops of my shoes.  We did what we could to slosh the mud off and scrape it off, but her pants and Susie’s pants were becoming hazardous.  So what is a Dirty Girl to do?  Mary took a sharp stick, poked holes midway down her pants, and then ripped the lower part off.  The result looked like Hulk’s pants after she was through.  Mary then helped Susie Hulk down her pants, and there was much rejoicing.

Susie is happy to have finished the race without her pants killing her.  Yay!
Susie is happy to have finished the race without her pants killing her. Yay!

The obstacles were challenging – I spent most of the time in mud simply trying to make sure I didn’t lose my shoe – but we managed to get through them pretty easily.  There was only one obstacle I didn’t go through, simply because it was tunnel-y, and had water, and seemed like a claustrophobia induced panic attack waiting for a Jay to happen.  I believe my exact words at the time were “Hell, no!  Fuck that shit.”  Because I am a wit and a scholar with a large vocabulary.  😉

Cheryl agreed with my thought of "Hell, no.  Tunnels bad."
Cheryl agreed with my thought of “Hell, no. Tunnels bad.”

As someone who has no real fear of heights there was one tall obstacle that gave me pause.  Most of the obstacles were basically inflatables, built like a kid’s bouncy house.  This structure was an A-framed pink bouncy house that you climbed up, then when you get to the top, there is water spraying down a smooth surface ending in a gushy mud pit.  Remember slip and slides from childhood?  It was like that only very high up in the air and with a steeper than 45 degree angle slide down.  I screamed the entire way down, then realized, “Your mouth is wide open and you are going to land in a muddy splash, might want to do something about that, brain trust.”  I managed to stop screaming and closed my mouth and eyes right before the gush of a landing.

However, even Cheryl and Mary who are scared of heights passed that one with flying colors, so we felt it was a big win.

Cheryl and Susie rejoicing that the muddy part was over and the beer part just beginning!
Cheryl and Susie rejoicing that the muddy part was over and the beer part just beginning!

I tried to talk them into doing the Spartan Sprint with us in April, but no luck on that front.  However, I do think that we might all do Dirty Girl again next year, and actually run.  We even spoke about doing a Zombie Run sometime, but agreed that since zombies are chasing you that we would have ACTUALLY train for it and not just INTEND to train for it.  Where I am with running right now, I would absolutely be zombie food.  So, couch to 5K anyone?

This is after we sprayed off the majority of the mud.
This is after we sprayed off the majority of the mud.

*Mary the Immoral is a named coined after Mary forgot a “t” in one of her emails to me.  I doubt that Mary the Immortal would have stuck around as a nickname, but I laughed so hard at Mary the Immoral, it has totally stuck and is now a thing.