Dirty Girl Mud Saunter

A couple weeks ago, some friends and I did the Dirty Girl Mud Run.  We had signed up months previously with the hopes that we would be motivated to train specifically for the run and the obstacles.

This is team Sheroes prior to the race, and the mud.  Don't we look shiny and happy?
This is team Sheroes prior to the race, and the mud. Don’t we look shiny and happy?

We had great intentions, but they fell short.  We all had different reasons, but the end result was the same – we were not in shape to run the Dirty Girl Mud Run, so we agreed to make it the Dirty Girl Mud Saunter.  We had a blast.

After doing the Spartan Sprint in April, it wasn’t that I thought of Dirty Girl as easy, but it was certainly much less traumatic.  Not having to scale walls of mud and soul scarring hills made it easier, plus it was only a 5K, while the Spartan Sprint ended up being about around 5-6 miles.  The land around the obstacles was mainly flat farmland or nice shady woods, which made recovering from the obstacles all the easier.

I was a little bit dubious about our team wear of Superman t-shirts, but given the fact that about 90% of the other women were wearing pink, it did help us stand out and I was really pleased.  Although, there was a group, which I assume was a team, dressed as yellow bees, kind of like the chick from the Blind Melon video.  We thought they were cool.

We got muddy.  Seriously muddy.  We got Muddy, then Mary the Immoral* Hulked out.

Mary the Immoral after finishing the race and Hulking out of her pants.
Mary the Immoral after finishing the race and Hulking out of her pants.

She was wearing yoga pants that went down to her ankles.  One mud pit got us so muddy that my capri yoga pants were hanging down to the tops of my shoes.  We did what we could to slosh the mud off and scrape it off, but her pants and Susie’s pants were becoming hazardous.  So what is a Dirty Girl to do?  Mary took a sharp stick, poked holes midway down her pants, and then ripped the lower part off.  The result looked like Hulk’s pants after she was through.  Mary then helped Susie Hulk down her pants, and there was much rejoicing.

Susie is happy to have finished the race without her pants killing her.  Yay!
Susie is happy to have finished the race without her pants killing her. Yay!

The obstacles were challenging – I spent most of the time in mud simply trying to make sure I didn’t lose my shoe – but we managed to get through them pretty easily.  There was only one obstacle I didn’t go through, simply because it was tunnel-y, and had water, and seemed like a claustrophobia induced panic attack waiting for a Jay to happen.  I believe my exact words at the time were “Hell, no!  Fuck that shit.”  Because I am a wit and a scholar with a large vocabulary.  😉

Cheryl agreed with my thought of "Hell, no.  Tunnels bad."
Cheryl agreed with my thought of “Hell, no. Tunnels bad.”

As someone who has no real fear of heights there was one tall obstacle that gave me pause.  Most of the obstacles were basically inflatables, built like a kid’s bouncy house.  This structure was an A-framed pink bouncy house that you climbed up, then when you get to the top, there is water spraying down a smooth surface ending in a gushy mud pit.  Remember slip and slides from childhood?  It was like that only very high up in the air and with a steeper than 45 degree angle slide down.  I screamed the entire way down, then realized, “Your mouth is wide open and you are going to land in a muddy splash, might want to do something about that, brain trust.”  I managed to stop screaming and closed my mouth and eyes right before the gush of a landing.

However, even Cheryl and Mary who are scared of heights passed that one with flying colors, so we felt it was a big win.

Cheryl and Susie rejoicing that the muddy part was over and the beer part just beginning!
Cheryl and Susie rejoicing that the muddy part was over and the beer part just beginning!

I tried to talk them into doing the Spartan Sprint with us in April, but no luck on that front.  However, I do think that we might all do Dirty Girl again next year, and actually run.  We even spoke about doing a Zombie Run sometime, but agreed that since zombies are chasing you that we would have ACTUALLY train for it and not just INTEND to train for it.  Where I am with running right now, I would absolutely be zombie food.  So, couch to 5K anyone?

This is after we sprayed off the majority of the mud.
This is after we sprayed off the majority of the mud.

*Mary the Immoral is a named coined after Mary forgot a “t” in one of her emails to me.  I doubt that Mary the Immortal would have stuck around as a nickname, but I laughed so hard at Mary the Immoral, it has totally stuck and is now a thing.

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